Stuttering Help

How many fluent people ever consider what life is like for somebody with a stutter?

Going through life with a stutter is quite difficult, and at times the stutterer would appreciate a little more compasion.

After overcoming a stutter myself, I asked some of my friends, how they thought life was like, having a severe stutter. I had quite a few different responses, some of which annoyed me.

Jim said:

"I always thought that you felt a bit sorry for yourself and you made out that your stutter was some huge disasterous problem. It's not like you couldn't talk at all, is it?

I also felt at times that you lacked courage, for example always asking Tony to order your drinks for you."

Paul then gave his opinion:

"I found it quite funny that at times you would be talking really well, but within a few minutes you couldn't get a word out."

Ashley joined in:

"I felt a bit sorry for you, seeing you struggle, was quite painful to watch."- This was a better comment!

Nigel, another friend:

"I am glad that I don't stutter, but what I think you needed to understand was that you were not the only one with issues and problems. I am extremely impressed that you have managed to overcome it though."

How to Deal With Difficult People

In business, like the rest of life we will often encounter people who are just that little more difficult to get along with. Some use the term 'personality conflict' to describe the situation, yet this suggests that there is some sort of unbreakable barrier and that the problem is somewhat unfixable, since it is highly unlikely somebody is going to change their entire personality for the sake of better work relations! A far more rational solution is to change specific behaviours, rather than personality traits.

Situations with difficult employees tend to occur over time; after all it is not very common to hire someone and find them impossible to deal with after the first week. Usually it is small irritating personal habits that progress over time into larger annoying behaviours after being left unattended. In any relationship, both people influence the other's behaviour. In almost every conflict situation, both parties bear some responsibility for the way things end up.

Focusing on blame will produce no results and only irritate you further. The most proactive thing you can do in these situations is focus on what YOU can do to make things better. It doesn't matter who is at fault, if your primary concern is to rectify the situation. Try to consider your contribution in this unpleasant situation; perhaps you have just written them off as a lost cause, their own worst enemy? Now try to consider ways in which you can change this; maybe by getting more involved with them personally, making an effort to become friends.

A good idea is to approach the situation in a non- accusatory tone, preferably when you are both calm and in a private situation. Address the problems you are experiencing, once you have finished let them have their say and be sure to listen intently so they know you are truly concerned and interested. When possible find things to agree on, and offer something in return.